and I had our uneventful flight home Friday, woke up two groggy boys at 1am to
hug and kiss, and crawled into bed shortly after. A few short hours later, the
pair of them blasted into our bedroom to crawl in bed with us for a snuggly
reunion. (Well, bouncy, noisy, snuggly reunion.)
being home, I find myself wanting to Do! Things!, then rapidly being reminded I
am still in recovery. I function well, then need a hard nap. (Very
hard--yesterday's was nearly three hours, today's over two hours, during which
at one point I thought I was on the plane home.)
wobbly but manage without the cane at home because there are plenty of walls,
pieces of furniture, etc. to balance me in a wobbly moment. That doesn't stop
Trent from chastising me if he doesn't see me using it--"Mom, where's your
candy cane?" he asks. Heh. So, I’m using it just a little bit more when
is a little weirded out by my scar, but is clearly very happy to have me home.
Now we swing in to the home routine again, with some modifications, and I’m
back to reading Harry Potter books to him at bedtime (we just started The
Prisoner of Azkaban).
wish to remain transparent about finances relating to this surgery as much as I
can, and now that we're home, the numbers are coming in so I can to share what
we know thus far. The actual medical bills likely won't get here for a few
months (oof, the waiting), but the hotel and rental car numbers are in. Please
forgive that I am rounding since I haven't gone through the receipts just yet
and am going by memory. The hotel was approximately $3200 for the 14 night
stay, managing to save a fair amount using street parking rather than the
hotel's $14/night + tip valet for the majority of the stay. We paid a hospital
discount rate of $185/night and were initially assuming the total would be
about $2700 or so, but ugh...forgot about that part with all the daily taxes
and fees. The rental car, again for 14 days, was about $1200. So, the travel
portion of this surgery totals about $4400.
feels awkwardly improper for me to talk about money like this, but again, I
wish to be transparent. Once the medical bills come in, I'll be certain to post
them as well. Missing chunks of my brain or not, I'm a fighter and keen
negotiator, and will not put up with an insurance company trying to play a very
expensive shell game with us. I have already been put in contact with a health
advocacy group and they're ready, too, to bring it should it need to be
though, there is no question--NO question--that going cross-country to see Dr.
Bolognese and have this world expert do my operation was the right decision.
Absolutely no question, not for me or Brian, who in fact said if we're paying
for it for the next few decades, it's worth it.
is where I will attempt, and no doubt fail spectacularly, to express gratitude
for the outpouring of kindness we are receiving from so many different aspects
of our lives. For one, Brian's work has set up a dinner schedule so that for
the two weeks my mom was watching the boys. *plus* the first two weeks after my
return home, we don't have to worry about cooking--which, I'm realizing, also
means I don't have to worry much about grocery shopping or kitchen cleaning. Our
first full day home, I was thinking (worrying) through my exhaustion about
lunch/dinner, and I realized--there were some leftovers from the meals in the
fridge. There was plenty for everyone, for both meals. That moment was yet
another time when the tears came, for all the best reasons.
wasn't sure I was up to driving the boys to school and we were tying to figure
out how that would work...and then the adult daughter of a dear friend called
me and volunteered herself. All this week she's driving the boys to school,
with me in the passenger seat, and has offered to take me to my doctor
appointment to get stitches out Thursday if I need. (I'm hoping I can manage
that brief little drive myself by then.)
my horses so, but right now the barn is incredibly unsafe for me. The uneven
ground alone is a risk even with my cane, so leading a horse, grooming them,
mucking stalls, feeding--all of that is pretty far out of my reach at the
moment. And so--yet another friend has been lovingly tending to my horses on a
regular schedule, grooming them, bathing them, exercising them (she got Tril to
jump!), all the while sending photos and even a daily diary of their
adventures. Again, it brings tears.
overwhelmed with gratitude, I feel a strange futility trying to express it,
because my expression is vastly disproportionate to what we are being given.
(But I still keep trying.) This leads me to a strange place: I am learning to
breathe deep and accept it. Accept the love, the friendship, the generosity, the
kindness, for exactly what they are: love, friendship, generosity, kindness.