Laura's introduction to yoga, stream-of-consciousness style

Start in the what pose?

Chumbawumbuh-huh? Cobra dog thing? How the hell do I...well, this will have to do.

I don't bend that way.

Dammit, I don't bend that way either.

Warrior who? Reverse what?

DAMMIT, my upper body is in crap condition. Time to admit I can't hold this and wait this pose out.

I used to be able to do this.

DAMMIT, my balance is really screwed up. What the...? Fuck, is it screwed up.

Face down toward the floor...got it. I'm just going to be here and cry a little.

Okay, getting up.

What the hell happened to my body?

Hey, I know this one! That's in my physical therapy arsenal.

Wait, what did she say? What the hell is that?

I'm sweating. I've hardly moved--how am I sweating??

Hey, another physical therapy one!

DAMMIT my shoulder is noisy.

OW. Guess I should shift.

What the hell? I used to be able to do this too, like it was nothing. Definitely a something now.

What the HELL has happened to my body?

Face down on the floor for this stretch...okay, a few more tears to mix with the sweat, why not?

Not feeling sorry for myself, nope; modify and move on.

Oh, it's the chumbawumbuh-huh cobra dog thing again. 

Oh, looks like my hips are supposed to stay up.  Whatever, my hips are going to have to be down.

DAMMIT my arms suck.

Lying still and flat...okay, I got this one.

It's over?

Man...I can't wait to come back next time.