Monday, October 1, 2012

I consider myself fairly internet-savvy, and I have always been perhaps-too prolific at writing about myself, but yet...this is my first blog.  Or really, first attempt at a blog.  Be gentle with me.

I bought my first horse in 2002, and nearly instantly was drowning in a world of information, opinions, complications, and impossible scenarios.  No matter how much I learned, there was always (is always) more in a sort of mockingly wicked inverse relationship.  Despite the knowledge and skills I gained, I remained keeeeeenly aware that, in essence, I still did not know shit.  I am the Perpetual Newbie.

I dove into equestrian message boards, vomiting my questions and dilemmas and stories all over their boards with embarrassing abandon, and stunningly was not met with eye-rolling contempt but rather warm encouragement and creative assistance (even from thousands of miles away).  Ana, my sweet, insecure, kind, weenie of an Arabian mare was my ambassador as I stepped into the horse world.  Over the years, I shared many stories (that were, really, blog posts) on the message boards, and developed many friendships via that dainty whited out grey (with a fondness for green spots) mare.  As if that weren't enough, some of our adventures were shared in Horse Illustrated, Arabian Horse World, and Equus.  Yeah.  She got me talking--er, writing--and for some reason, she made people want to read about it.

Then she developed an insidious disease that forced this Noob to learn yet another excruciating lesson: when it was time to end the pain.  She broke my heart.  Broke it.  Just a freakin' horse, an animal, a beast of burden, but That.  SUCKED.  And now, a year and a day to when I lost her, I still choke up thinking about her.  Just a damn horse, I tell myself.  (My father was an engineer, a scientist by nature--can you tell?  My ingrained reasoning and scientific apathy is frequently at polite, rational, logical war with my messy intuitive emotional side.)

I bought a new horse in April 2012 and new adventures in "What the fuck is going on NOW?" have begun.  Join me as I explore what Ana has taught me and gain some confidence that maybe I'm not as much the lost newbie as I thought I was.  Yeah, I knew better than to break four horse safety rules and nearly shatter my ankle (and bust up my knee) within 2 weeks of buying him, so I guess knowing better is a step up.  (Might help to act on that knowledge, I've learned.)

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